I Grew Up In Church, But…

by David Weingarten on September 3, 2013

in JOURNEYS IN SHARING GOD'S GRACE

When is the last time you talked to someone about “church,” or “going to church”?   I’ve noticed that, of the people I’ve been in contact with, more people than not have had some prolonged exposure to church – either they were raised in church or attended with a friend as they grew up. The latest figures for church attendance in America estimate that between 20% and 40% of Americans attend church on a “regular” basis (“regular” usually being defined as weekly), and these figures apparently haven’t changed that much in the last few years. To me, this means that a surprising number of people – especially from the post-Baby Boomer generations – has had some exposure to church. However, too often, this doesn’t translate into a happy, “oh wow! You’re a believer too, huh?” conversation. Instead, it sinks into a depressing monologue about why someone rejected church as soon as they left the house.

The conversation often goes something like this: “yeah, I was raised in church – I used to sing in the choir/go to Sunday School/do church or missionary work. But when I went to college/joined the military/left home and went on my own, I learned so much about the world around me and saw how sheltered I am.” Then, the conversation slowly devolves into a picture of some fair-haired boy in shorts and tenny-shoes, with his baseball cap turned slightly sideways and a cowlick sticking out the back, wandering wide-eyed from his sheltered home; mom and dad wave from the porch, the smell of baking cookies wafting from the open door; and the kid marching toward “the big wide world” and all of its riches of knowledge, experience, and wisdom –  all of which he had only dreamed about as he stared out the stained glass window of church week after week.

The “bright lights, big city” syndrome: the diversity of opinion, the wisdom of professors with all those letters after their names, the experience of newfound friends – it’s all so intoxicating as they shake their heads, pat you on yours, and chuckle, “oh, you’re so sheltered.” So, the “real-life education begins: there are other ways to truth; the idea of “sin” is so old-fashioned, it’s just another way of living. And, best of all, you’re enlightened in the “reality” that this narrow-minded, uneducated viewpoint of some almighty God out there who – what? Gave his blood? Died for you? Cares about a humanity He created? Come on, now – it’s all  so quaint, so…medieval.

And so on and on, year after year, as “church” is left behind, the Bible becomes a bookshelf decoration, until the transformation is complete: the “sheltered” church-going kid, who grew up reciting Bible verses and church songs, is now an experienced, “mature” adult who has memorized the mantras and anecdotes of the big wide world: evolution is a proven fact; there are many ways to truth; the Bible is a book of myths taken from other ancient works; Science Rules.

I went to a very liberal university and, on my own, took courses on Marxism, U.S. foreign policy taught by a leftist professor, and had as required reading in one course “And The Band Played On,” a history of the development of the AIDS crisis. And – shocker! – I never lost my faith. But many who took a similar college path ended up shoving aside the religious experience they had growing up. Why?

I see several processes going on with this abandonment of faith. First, I think that many who “lost” their faith and so willingly accepted anything other than biblical teachings possibly did not have a relationship with God in the first place – the God that they supposedly were learning about in all of those Flannelgraph Sunday school lessons.

Second, many people may have had sincere, honest questions about God, the Old and New Testaments, and/or about people in the Bible, that were never adequately addressed, or were dismissed out of hand. In fact, the church as a worldwide body has a terrible reputation for being anti-thought, anti-intellectual, and anti-education.

The fault lies with both the church and the individual. And Satan, being ever-present at these defining moments, takes full advantage of these gaps and goes on the attack once that kid in the baseball cap leaves the “shelter” of his home.

Paul certainly didn’t expect every Christian believer to have the other-worldly experiences that he had had (at his conversion (Acts 9:5) or in the “third heaven” (2 Cor. 12:2), but he made it clear that a relationship with God was more than “sitting and listening” for a large portion of one’s life. He called Christ in us the “eternal hope” in Colossians 1:27; in 2 Cor. 4:7 he said that we believers have a “treasure” in us, that all overwhelming power comes from God; and he asserted in 2 Cor. 5:21 that God’s perfection would be evident in believers. Who, having been in this kind of relationship with God for ten or fifteen years would suddenly chuck it all and say, “yeah – well, I’ve been sheltered – there’s gotta be something better out there somewhere.” Somehow, the connection between the awesome, real-life, no-nonsense power of God and the individual was never made; and that lack of connection made it possible for the individual to then dismiss all those lessons as just fairy tales, there to enjoy and take lessons from, but not ultimate truth.

This brings us to the individual. The Bible says that every person will eventually be accountable for what they heard, and for what they did with what they heard. This means that the fact that a person heard the Gospel – week after week, Sunday after interminable Sunday – makes that individual answerable to God for his hearing of the Gospel. No one, I believe, will be able to say, “well, they taught me about Jesus’ blood on the Cross, but the Sunday School teacher left her husband for the Amway salesman, so I just rejected all this as not true.” We hear the message, delivered from “cracked pots,” as it were (see 2 Cor. 4:7), and we respond, one way or the other. And our response will be addressed by God on the final day.

So, what happens, then, when a person leaves the “shelter” of their home, is something like a perfect storm – a person who never “connects” with God through his religious upbringing goes out into the “big wide world” and thus becomes easy prey for any idea that presents itself. And who comes alongside but Satan himself. He knows exactly the state of the young person’s heart and mind and thus begins his full-court press. He presents himself and his “alternative philosophies” as irresistibly attractive (2 Cor. 11:4); he floods the newbie’s senses with academic titles, slick catchphrases, and intelligent-sounding rebuttals to the “stupid” or “ignorant” or “unenlightened” ideas they’ve grown up with. And the truth becomes less and less attractive as Satan’s shiny objects mesmerize.

So, what is the answer? If this is indeed the case, what to do about it?  Do the Christians just lament the “downfall of civilization” and proceed as if nothing has happened? Do those once raised in church continue to get tied up into worldly philosophies which have no solution?

If you are one who was raised in church and have walked away from it, take a step back from your resistance to anything “church.” Think about what others are saying about church and God. Does it make sense? Does it ring true? Is there really a thousand roads to truth, where just anybody can do anything as long as they think it’s moral, and gain entrance into an eternity of perfection, happiness, and peace? Does evolution make sense? Where did the original matter come from? If it “just happened” and “came from nothing,” how does that differ from the Christian perspective, except that Christians have a “Someone” doing all of it? If, say, a filthy rock is dropped into a small pool of pure, pristine glacier water, doesn’t it make that pool dirty? And would you drink it? How, then, would you expect a pure, pristine God “take in” a filthy person, unless there were some “purifying agents” added? The world told you when you entered it from your sheltered existence that it had so much more and better wisdom than you were exposed to growing up. Do you see that wisdom? Are people in this world of “alternative ideas” better off spiritually and emotionally because of their ideas than the majority of Christians you encounter?

If you’re one of those who knows someone who grew up in church, pray. Pray and look. Pray and look and love. Pray for the people around you, that they may come to the ultimate truth in Christ. Look for opportunities to talk sincerely to them about the truth of Christ. And love them, as sincerely as Christ loved the world (John 3:16) and wept over Jerusalem (Matt. 23:7). One of the first steps to witnessing effectively is to recognize where people are at. Many people may know the gospel but have been blinded by Satan to its ultimate truth and life-saving power. See what God can do through you, by a receptive and loving spirit.

Debra Celovsky September 11, 2013 at 6:17 PM

Thank you for sharing your experiences. Great challenge at the end of your post, also.

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